Laurie White’s Blog

Okay, so it was a rough morning. But Charlie took me out for lunch (to Logan’s, since they have good salads and I’ll be off salads real soon). He asked if I was bringing IkeGetDownFromThere or Linus to my PET scan. I was so stressed, it took me a minute to figure out what he meant.

And Charlie doesn’t like puns, so I didn’t expect it from him. So, I had to share with him an old story. He didn’t appreciate it, but if you like (accept? groan at?) puns, read on!

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said, “I’m sorry, but your dog has passed away.”

“What?” screamed the man. “How can you tell? You haven’t done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!” With that, the vet turned and left the room.

In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly with his nose. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, “Bark” (meaning “dead as a doornail”). The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also carefully sniffed out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, “Meow” (meaning “he’s history”). He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog’s owner went berserk. “$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!” The vet shook his head sadly and explained. “If you had taken my word for it, the charge would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan………”

This version comes from Ecunet’s Puns and Other Word Play mailing list. Just to give blame/credit where it’s due.