Mind over matter

Well, chemotherapy number four is just about done. (I still need to go in for a Neulasta shot Friday, but, for as expensive as it is, it’s just as simple.)

I like small numbers. In just today, I went from halfway through my chemo sessions to two thirds of the way through my chemo sessions. Now, two thirds! That seems like we’re getting close to the end.

I was a bit dismayed to hear my white count numbers. Now, they’re not bad “for chemotherapy patients,” but they are very, very close to the lowest end of the normal range. (I was around 8 five days after my first chemo, but just about 4 1/2 today. Normal is 4 to 11, or so says my nurse Debra, but I really think normal is like 5 to 11 from the graphic.) Really, the only thing that bothers me is that I thought I was doing great and had no immunity problems, but in fact, it looks like all those silly things I’ve been doing to protect myself have actually been necessary. Eh, if the only symptom of a problem is a number, I can deal with it.

Chemo was really easy. I managed to read and get a nap in during it. And knowing that it’s almost over or I’ve handled it well three other times or that it’s working remarkably well has made me feel much stronger afterwards. It’s astonishing how well I think I am and how I’ve decided this chemo session won’t slow me down. I’m thinking about enchildas or pizza for dinner. Now I won’t, because if I do, Charlie’s promised I’ll have one of those other side effects I’ve been hearing about, but not experiencing–bruising. Now, it’s not that pizza can cause bruising, but more that if I try to eat it, Charlie will go that far to stop me.

And he’s right, but still, enchildas rancheros would be nice! So instead, I have to move Ike (who realizes I’m not well, even if I don’t and has decided to curl up in my lap in the afternoon; he usually takes over the bed when it can be all his in the afternoon) and go to the Wellness Center for Cancer Wellfit. I’d grouse more, but I have a feeling that Wellfit instead of enchiladas is why I’m feeling so good, and even I can be practical when facing such overwhelming evidence.

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1 Comment »

  1. susie vanderGlas said

    you are really blessed …I am sure you know this . And your right chemo is NOT so bad not good but really Not so BAD!!!… I am so proud you have and are travling this jouurney so well sometimes we just get to caught up in the cancer thing and forget about life and this you have not done so HATS OFF to you way to go girl::::}}} >
    Love as always your sister in the pink
    Susie V

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